Or at least that is what the fortune cookie from Fire.bowl Cafe said. I'm addicted to said place. I know they put some sort of addictive chemical in their food. I did not like that fortune for two reasons. One, because that is not a fortune. Two, because it implies, sorta, that I have a lot to learn. I do, about comma placement,as you have undoubtedly seen. But it is appropriate. You see lately I've learned a lot. I learned that hydrocodone is the generic form of Vicodin. All this time I had Vicodin, two FULL bottles to be exact, and never knew it. But the sad part is.. it turns out I don't do well on Vicodin. When I took it, I thought I was dying. So I never took another. Ambien, now that's some candy I'd like to get my hands on.
The other thing I learned: Panties have a tag and if the panties are on correctly, the tag will be on the left. "Holy Shit", I screamed. For thirties years I had always wondered if my panties were on correctly. I'd be sitting at work and my panties would ride up my ass. Why? Because they were on BACKWARDS. Now I know. And I can thank Peter Falk. No, he wasn't in my bedroom. There was an episode of Columbo about it. Can't you just picture Falk, brow furrowed, asking, "I just have one more question... why was the tag of the victims panties on the right side?"
So, as I have illustrated, you are never too old to learn. Have you learned anything recently you'd care to share?